Having done a lot of personal development courses and coaching over the years, I think there comes a fine line between the need for constant improvement, continually being positive, always having a smile on your dial… and simply relaxing into whatever life throws at you. As recent earthquakes and tsunamis have proven, life is completely unpredictable and can be a very, very average experience at times. Sometimes the joy can, and does, get sucked right out.
Occasionally it’s okay to put things in cruise control and take it easy on oneself instead of constantly pushing and pushing and pushing for things to be right – right at that moment. I know of several marriages that have broken up indirectly through the pressures exerted by business coaching and the incessant drive to achieve. I was reminded that there are other areas in life we sometimes forget about: laughing with your friends, intimacy in your relationship, joy in playing with children, appreciating natural surroundings – especially in New Zealand! This past weekend we stayed at a lodge three hours south of Christchurch right next to the Pacific ocean. I heard thunderous waves breaking at night, which I hadn’t recognised for years. It actually made me smile… and breathe!
So while things are not exactly as we may like them at this time, it could be a good opportunity to take some pressure off your mind and just day dream about the future. Imagineering is the word I use.
From David Schwartz, author of The Magic of Thinking Big, here are some simple thoughts that I enjoyed:
- Concentrate on the things you’re good at and don’t get bogged down. You’re better than you think you are.
- Use a “big thinker’s” vocabulary. Try to talk in words that speak hope and happiness.
- “See the future and believe in it” (Sensei Trevor Foster, Christchurch, 2011). Try to see things for their potential and not just what they are today.
- Believe that your job is an important one.
- Focus on big things, leaving triviality out of the picture. Ask yourself, “is this really important?”