Number 1: No one is coming for you. You are your own White Knight. Even though the universe will send you wonderful, supportive people on your path to assist you, those people will only manifest if you’re committed to what you want and are doing what it takes to get there. The old adage of God helps those who help themselves. There is no “fixer”. No one is coming and you have to be accountable to yourself.
Number 2: Conative behaviour. Conation means “the act or mental process or behaviour directed toward action or change, including impulse, desire, volition and striving”. Falling down and getting up. Falling down and getting up. Knocking on one hundred doors to find that one quality client. Knowing what to change mentally, physically, emotionally, financially or socially and then making that change requires an enormous amount of energy. You not only have to slow the runaway train down to a standstill, but then start pushing it back the other way. What amount of energy is required to overcome the inertia of a locomotive? A lot. And usually more than most people are prepared to offer up, so they keep looking for the fix; the silver bullet or the winning lotto ticket. Statistics show that most people cannot commit to anything longer than 30 days without defaulting. The one issue with pushing your train the other way is that the railway tracks are neural networks in your brain which have become hardwired with more and more tenacity, keeping you locked into the same mental and behavioural addictions.
Number 3: Emotional stock. Most of what I know and teach was not learnt at university (all 5 of them). Life has been kind enough to offer me a few failures, setbacks, disappointments and traumatic events in quick succession to draw strength from and provide the emotional stock to get through each challenge without falling to pieces. Looking at a problem and saying, “that’s not so bad – I’ve dealt with that before,” is a different feeling to facing a challenge for the first time: the type of stress that is new, unique or traumatic. One way to surmount new stress is to seek counsel from people who have been there and done that. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel yourself – it simply takes too long and life is too short. Ask and you shall receive, because emotional stock will see you through.