Emotions used to control others
The emotions and devices we use to manipulate and control others.
By Neil Rosenthal, Family Therapist, Christchurch.
“I am living with a woman who is very controlling,” writes Craig G. “When I don’t agree with her or do things the way she wants me to, she gets furious at me, threatens to have an affair, screams, pouts, and withdraws sex. Why does she do this?”
How do you attempt to control people in your relationships? Do you yell, deny them something, get annoyed or irritated, accusatory, pout, act sneaky or deceptive, criticise, lie or withhold the truth? Do you offer therapy, act “nice”, give gifts, take responsibility for others, sulk, moralise, nag, analyse, get short of curt?
Do you give advice, get angry, argue, lecture, explain, become self righteous, blame, complain, convince, justify? Do you judge, interrogate, flatter talk others out of their feelings, bribe, scowl, spank, change the subject? Do you use sarcasm, whine, make comparisons, throw things, interpret? Do you talk about your feelings, desires and needs, teach?
Do you use the silent treatment, underfunctioning, disapproving looks, overfunctioning, sighs, half-truths, a superior attitude, illness, or emotional withdrawal? What about sexual withdrawal, violence, blaming tears, “poor me” tears, temper tantrums, put-downs, threats of suicide, or threats of financial withdrawal?
Are there other ways that you exert control in your relationships? Some of the more common ways people try to control others, consciously or not, are through… Read more
Psoriasis
Filed under: Case of the month, Spinewave Bulletin, Symptoms, Testimonials
Going from not being able to put a shirt on without cracking and bleeding skin, to comfortably dressing himself. A snapshot of chiropractic and the skin…
To better understand how the skin responds to chiropractic care, it’s important to understand that the skin and the nervous system are essentially the same thing.
In utero, the outermost layer of developing tissue folds in upon itself to start forming the brain and spinal cord (Fig.1). So the skin and the nervous system stem from the same group of cells and maintain this intimate connection throughout life. This makes sense when one considers that the nervous system functions by virtue of signals and stimuli that come from the outside world, and the skin is the interface between you and it.
One of chiropractic’s major influences is restoring harmony to a disturbed autonomic nervous system; disturbed by any kind of stress, whether it be internal or external. The autonomic (or automatic fight/flight) part of the nervous system controls organs, glands and blood vessels, and can be measured through technology in a chiropractic office by either thermographic or heart rate variability readings. Chiropractic has a “calming” effect on the autonomic nervous system over time, as illustrated in the before and after scans (Fig.2).
The skin is said to be the largest organ of the body and with its foetal connection to the nervous system, responds in sympathy to its state. For example, “breakouts” around exam time. The skin is connected to the central nervous system via the peripheral nervous system and the autonomic nervous system. So it not only responds to obvious triggers like sensation, pain and temperature, but also “neurogenic” triggers. Read more
The spinal cord is our second brain
“Basic physiology books describe the spinal cord as a relay system, but it’s part of the central nervous system and processes information just like parts of the brain do,” explains Dr. Stroman, director of the Queen’s MRI Facility and Canada Research Chair in Imaging Physics.
Dr. Stroman’s research is directed at precisely mapping the areas above and below a spinal cord injury in order to better determine the exact nature of an injury and the effectiveness of subsequent treatment. His mapping technique involves capturing multiple images of the spinal cord using a conventional MRI system.
During their research, Dr. Stroman’s team was surprised to discover that attention levels impact information processing in the spinal cord. By examining the differences in spinal cord functioning in people who were either alert or distracted by a task, they were able to see changes in the level of cord activity picked up by the MRI scanner.
“The effect of attention is one of the reasons that when you’re playing sports and you get hurt, you often don’t become aware of the injury until after the game when your attention and focus changes,” says Dr. Stroman.
The spinal cord is an extension of the brain and much of its neurological make up is quite similar. In the 70s scientists discovered that opiate receptors exist in the spinal cord – the kind that pick up our “feel good” signals like endorphins. This meant that the spinal cord responds to emotions that were thought to only exist in the brain, leading to the understanding that the emotional cortex, or limbic system, actually extends into the spine. This is why when we experience a wide variety of emotions they can manifest “in the back”.
Previous studies have shown a correlation between spinal stress and the onset of social disorders, in addition to biochemical changes in the brain. One of the areas that chiropractic care focuses on is the spine and spinal cord which is rich with all these receptors, responsible for the brain-reward cascade that triggers a feeling of well being. An impairment of these receptors due to distortion in the corresponding area of the spine can be one of the underlying causes for depression and for mood or social alterations.