Suicidal Migraines

“One day while walking down the street I purposely walked in front of a passing vehicle…”

My story began 13 years ago. I worked upstairs in a bank. Rushing to take documents downstairs for the courier, I caught the heel of my shoe on the first concrete stair. I was in limbo as I tumbled from top to the bottom of the concrete stairs. The staff bikes that leaned against the wall fell on top of my head and back. I was stunned and forced myself up after lying underneath a heap of bikes for several minutes. I carefully cleaned the blood off in the community bathroom.

Though sore for several days, I thought nothing more of the incident. A week or so later, I started to experience some strange symptoms.

“I started to develop irritable bowel problems and I had an unbalanced feeling.”

My head seemed cloudy, I started to drift off into daydreams – being unable to concentrate on my work, and I also started to experience severe headaches and eventually, bilateral migraines with vomiting and light and sound sensitivity. As well, I had problems with my ears, they were constantly ringing – similar to tinnitus. I started to develop irritable bowel problems and I had an ‘unbalanced’ feeling, I noticed one shoulder seemed lower than the other and my head would click every time I turned it. I would go to courses at the Bank and be unable to focus for more than minutes at a time, the constant fogginess in my head and the band-like feeling around my forehead was unbearable and it would have me in tears every night.

“So he gave me 1,000 painkillers and sent me on my way.”

Fast-forward a few weeks and the problem became so bad, that I could no longer concentrate on my work at all, and I resigned from my banking job. I went to countless medical professionals and had brain scans and neurological testing done, all of which came back clear. This only added to my confusion. One rehabilitation specialist took some brain scans and other tests and then proceeded to tell me it was literally “all in my head” so I was to take up a hobby, stop thinking about it, and basically stop being a hypochondriac – there was obviously nothing wrong with me that he could see. So he gave me 1,000 painkillers and sent me on my way. I tried virtually everyone in the medical profession including rheumatologists and several neurologists. Read more

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